Drunk With Love & Pain

23 Jan

Poetry is an outlet for me. The words “flow” when I’m extremely happy and when I’m extremely sad… There’s rarely an in-between. My poetic flow takes you into my world on good days and on not so good days… It’s not for everyone… but it’s my reality…

The pain I feel tonight is intoxicating.
My head is spinning from confusion.
Conflicting emotions of Love and regret surface,
as I see your silhouette against the darkness in the room…
I automatically know it’s you,
simply because I know you.
The sharpness and distinction of your nose;
The deceptiveness of your lips when you’re not smiling…
I would swear you were harsh and churlish
if I didn’t know you so well…
Your presence throws me off kilter.
I’m thrown off my game.
I become nauseated,
feeling the need to purge.
Purge words that I’ve held for days, weeks…months…
16 months…. and 18 days to be exact.
Yes, I’ve counted them over and over again,
asking God and myself, “Why do I love him so much?
Where is my rationale?”
Hmph….that left months ago.
“I am ANDREA,” I yell to myself.
“I don’t fall for men; they fall for me.”
Myself ignores me,
and my heart and soul respond…
with a hard and strong love for you.
I’m enraptured by your presence and demeanor – STRONG & CONFIDENT.
I want to retaliate with my own strength & confidence.
I throw what I have back at you….
You don’t utter a word, but smile.
Now, I’m infuriated.
I’m unable to interpret that.
I want you to tell me that you love me.
Tell me that you’re angry with me.
Tell me that you don’t like me.
Tell me something! The suspense is driving me mad!
With tears in my eyes,
every expletive in the book in my mind,
and with this hard love in my heart,
I just stand and gaze at you, eye to eye.
I respect you to0 much to utter a word…
I love you too much to let you go…
So I stand –
confused and intoxicated by the pain that runs deep…
engulfed and rooted by my love that runs deeper.


One Response to “Drunk With Love & Pain”

  1. K. Shives January 23, 2011 at 1:58 pm #

    Oh My God……. My dearly beloved, there are so many words in my heart that I wish to say. Yet, I’m bound by yours and find myself SPEECHLESS!
    LOVE IT!

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