Can You Go A Long Time With A Woman Like Me?

30 Jan

It’s January 29, 2011 and it’s 71 degrees in Memphis, TN… smack dab in the middle of winter! I was driving to one of my favorite Mexican restaurants while listening to Rhianna’s song, “What’s My Name?”  I had the windows down in the car, sunglasses on, and I’m dancing like no one was watching. 🙂 As I was eating lunch, I began replaying my responses to some of my questions from a singles panel that I was a part of the night before…. The question that got me is this:

“When being approached by a man, what is an instant turn off?”

That was very funny to me because I was thinking to myself, “Uhmmm…. I don’t have any…. because rarely am I approached!” After some pushing from the facilitator and some quick, deep thought, my response was, “Conceited men who come at me like they’re God’s most precious gift are a real turnoff!” When I got in bed last night, I thought about that some more. “So do conceited men really turn you off, or is it more to that than you’re willing to admit?” This was the question that I asked myself before drifting off to sleep….

The word, narcissistic, came to mind this morning as I was preparing for a meeting. I dismissed it…. it resurfaced again during lunch. I dismissed it…. and now it resurfaces again….so let’s discuss it….

narcissistic = inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love.

I find narcissistic personalities to be very disappointing. I’ve been considering a comment that my friend, Pastor Daniel Moody, made on my radio broadcast, Soulful Sessions With Drea, on Thursday. He said that a man needs a woman who’s willing to dismantle erroneous thinking, and I agree with him wholeheartedly. However, I’m recognizing that the same underlying tone of unsubmissiveness by which many women were raised, is the same underlying tone of unsubmissiveness by which many men were also raised. We must keep in mind that some single mothers not only raised daughters without the proper model of how to be a wife, but they also raised sons who did not have the proper model of how to be a husband. Thus, this sword is two-edged and cuts both ways.

Moms have a tendency to be very partial towards their sons. I know from experience. 🙂 As a single mother, we desire for them to be well-mannered, respectful, and kind to others, and those qualities are the foundation for a good man, but what about the ingredients that are necessary in making that good man a great husband? These little boys, who were raised being the center of attention and who were often cautioned about girls trying to distract them from their destinies, have now become full grown, narcissistic men with that same “erroneous” thinking that must be dismantled in order for them to have a productive and successful relationship. Most of  these brothers are chivalrous, respectful, and kind, yet they struggle to connect and engage in relationships, simply because they have been taught that you, Woman, are the “forbidden fruit” that will lure them off course.

My Love Letter To The Brothers:

My Dearest Brother,

If the above information is an illustration of you, then I encourage you to take a look at your views about Women and relationships. You are M.A.N. – God’s Most Amazing Nature. You were not created to exist in this world alone. While loving yourself is important, your self-love has become extreme because you are over compensating for something that you’re lacking. There is a love from Woman that not only releases favor to you, but that also frees and pushes you to be ALL that you were created to be. You may believe that sex is the only service that Woman can provide for you, but you are sadly mistaken.

I challenge you to dig deep and dismantle your erroneous thinking about Women and Relationships. I love the words that Rhianna sings in her song, “What’s My Name?” She says:

“Hey Boy, I really wanna see if you can go a long time with a Girl like me.”

I’m not implying anything sexual by throwing that at you, but I want to see if you, M.A.N., can go a long time (have a healthy, lasting, and productive relationship) with a Woman like me. In order to meet my challenge, you must first recognize your need for Woman in your life. God did not create you to do it all. He created HELP for you. Her name is WOMAN. Take some time to get to know Her. If you open up and love Her right, She will bless your life.

I pray divine collaborations for you, M.A.N., this year that prosper you in every area of your life, including your relationships. Dismantle your erroneous thinking. Push yourself beyond your thoughts and beyond limitations that have kept you bound and watch God manifest mighty miracles for YOU!

Your Sister,



One Response to “Can You Go A Long Time With A Woman Like Me?”

  1. K. Shives January 31, 2011 at 11:04 pm #

    I think this should be discussed more on the show!

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