Does My Whip Offend You?

27 Mar

ImageI met a man, last night, who was ON POINT. His look was on point. His conversation was tight. His spirituality was obvious in his conversation. His business life seemed solid. He was, essentially and overall, ON POINT. We talked for a few hours about lots of things, and it felt as though we’d been friends for years (I’m already laughing). As the night dwindled away, my girlfriend, who was with me, asked him to drive us to my car (she knew him). He was glad to oblige. As we’re driving down Main Street, I tell him that we’re approaching my car. Just in front of my car was a beautiful, black 400 series Benz. I look over at him and notice that he’s smiling with delight. I start to get really tickled because I realize that this brother thinks that he’s about to hand me over to this plush whip, and I can almost hear his thoughts, “Thank YOU, Jesus! Finally, one who’s self sufficient!” I let him get a little bit closer to both cars and prepared to break his heart. “You can pull over right here,” I said, smiling. He smiles back and replies, “Okay, Baby.” My girlfriend jumps out of the backseat and walks, not to the Benz, but to Big Bertha, my red Volvo. She’s pulling on the door handle of my car, and yelling at me, “Girl, unlock the door!” By this time, I’m literally crying from holding in my laughter. I yell back at her, “Girl, I can’t ‘let you in’… Ain’t nothing “electric” on Big Bertha! I’ll be there in a minute.” I look over at him, and his face was shadowed with disappointment. He tries to hold himself together and plaster a smile on his face before saying, “So… text me when you make it home.” I smiled, nodded, and replied, “Sure, I will.” I thanked him for driving us to my car and bid him good night. While everything seemed to be ON POINT, I wasn’t holding my breath to hear from him again.

I don’t drive a Benz, a BMW, or a Bentley, but Brothers, let me be clear. Just because a woman CHOOSES to drive a vehicle that’s PAID for and is not NEW, doesn’t mean that she’s not self sufficient. I have my own house, my own car, and I pay my own bills. I can buy my own drinks and my own dinner. However, it’s kind and gentlemanly of a man to dine and date a woman. I’m educated. My conversation is tight. My look is tight. I’m anointed. I have my own money to put into what I deem necessary. If you see ALL of that in me, yet when you walk me to my car, you find my whip offensive, then you’re nothing more to me than a label whore. You may find my whip offensive, but I have a title. Cars don’t impress me. When I see some of you coming in your Benz, BMW, or Bentley, I don’t see a nice car. I see a BILL. Your whips don’t offend me, but they don’t impress me either. Can you get past my RIDE to see my REAL…. beauty?

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