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This Scene…

5 Dec

My thoughts on the matter?

I just want to scream,

“Lord, awaken me from this part of the dream!”

I have no more emotions to give to this scene.

What’s done is done,

and what GOD said will BE,

yet I haven’t anymore emotions to give to this scene.

I’m speaking the truth, in LOVE,

and I’m not being mean.

I refuse to sacrifice my anointing, creativity, and integrity

just to be a part of the team.

I’ve come too far, and I won’t turn back now

just because I’ve grown weary of this redundant scene.

No rewind. No pause. Only fast forward and play.

I’m keeping it moving to the Promised Thing,

for I haven’t anymore emotions to give to this scene.

The characters in this scene may be a part of the victorious ending I’ve seen,

but I haven’t anymore emotions to give to this scene.

And so, I keep it moving….

On the Help of the Holy Spirit, I lean.

Because of HIS power, I no longer desire acceptance…

It’s the Promise, I feign.

And I haven’t anymore emotions to give to this scene.

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Dreaming & Living

2 Sep

This came immediately after a dream….

As I awakened from a dream tonight, I was amazed at how vivid and real the dream seemed. I began to consider the way I embrace life, and I realized that for me, life must also be vivid and real…

There are certain scents that I will never forget. To smell those scents, triggers different emotions.

There are things that I’ve touched in my lifetime that I can close my eyes and see, but to describe the feeling of those things on my fingertips, leaves me at a loss for words.

There are spiritual sounds that I’ve heard that quaked and broke up the fallow ground of my foundational teaching and beliefs. These sounds broke barriers and changed my life.

There are words that have been spoken by specific people that still ring in my ears. I can SEE their tone and their mood even now.

There have been experiences of good Lovin’ that I never wanted to end. I can see him now… His eyes, full of gratitude… His shoulders, chocolate and strong… His every move ministering to my love need…

I embrace life in the same manner I embrace my dreams – vividly…and very real…

This is also how I embrace my future. I’m anxious for NEW scents, NEW things to touch, different words to hear, NEW sounds in the spirit, and better Lovin’ that leaves me with one word answers and smiling from ear-to-ear…

One Word

9 Aug

“One word,” I said.

Give me one word that comes to mind when you think of me.

With eyes filled with passion

And a smile that made me shiver,

He spoke one word earnestly.

“Rare”.

“There are few like you,

And I struggle to describe what I see,

but Baby, you have that IT factor that makes a brother like me

Want to BE all that he was created to BE.

It’s not only an outward manifestation of your boldness and beauty,

But it’s your brains, the anointing,

and the way you Love that makes giving you more of me my duty.”

“Give it back to me,” he whispered.

“Give me one word.”

Suddenly, I’m shy,

but I so want to please The man that’s before me who loves me with ease.

“Vintage” was my reply.

An unexpected look came upon his face that made me sigh

Because I knew that one word would have him engulfed.

“Baby, I need more than that one word. Vintage is just not enough.”

“Well actually, it is, and allow me to explain why.

You treat me like a Lady at all times,

never disrespectful towards me on the sly.

Yes, you see and can hang with all the glitz and the glam,

Yet even behind closed doors,

I don’t have to demand your respect because you know who I am.

Your actions towards me are in line with HIS will.

You’re the only man in my life who’s able to fulfill

The purpose that GOD has for you in my life.

It’s HIS Love in you, constant and active,

that prompts dreams of being your wife.

You see, I know of many who would love nothing more than to have this temple to defile,

But Baby you’re “Vintage” because A Man who Loves, honors, and respects his Lady never goes out of style.”

The Quiet Storm: Unspoken WORDS

4 Jul

Like cumulus clouds that are destined to burst forth with rain,

your WORDS are like them,

A conversational STORM that never came.

As I await the coming of your rain

(the conversation we have yet to have),

I think of the former rain,

your WORDS that made me laugh…

cry… moan… and grow….

This latter rain is necessary for where WE must GO.

Rain on me, Baby,

and put this drought to an end.

Shower me with your WORDS.

Make my dry places your friend.

4.26.2011 @ 6:40p.m.

27 Apr

Can’t shake you.

Haven’t been able to break you.

You’re in and out,

out and in,

heart to heart,

then paper to pen.

You know how I feel,

but your words are few.

I began making assumptions

because I don’t have a clue….

about what you’re feeling.

You won’t let me in.

There once was a time when I thought we were friends.

“I need to be able to trust you,” was one of your favorite lines,

but I needed to be able to trust you too,

and I realized over time…

that I couldn’t trust you to be there; to be down for me.

You talked a lot to me about loyalty.

Loyalty towards you, but where was your loyalty to me?

I needed you to have my back when others turned on me.

So, here we go again,

cordial one week, cold the next.

Love talk here, and then a harsh text.

Watching you watch me at distant lengths;

Making sure I stay far enough away but close enough for you to see.

Still giving you the respect and honor I believe you deserve,

simply because….

I see…

I see my worth and yours;

Worth that goes far beyond what my eyes behold.

Worth far more valuable than any pot of gold.

Deep into the depths of the Holy Spirit, I see.

Out of the fullness of HIS infilling, I’m moved to speak prophetically:

I’m more than you’re willing to handle. Worth more than you’re willing to give. I’m the Woman for whom you will have to give something different. With me, NEW Life you will live. I’m the Woman who may be shy with you, but definitely not afraid. shy because I respect you. Fearless because I trust the foundation that has already been laid. I’m Virtuous, yet “Ride or Die.” I’m the Woman who’s had your back, and I DIDN’T believe the lie. You recognized the Anointing when others only saw my beauty. the Anointing on my life gained your respect. Now loving me is your duty.

What Is This?

28 Feb

What is this that causes me to look into your eyes and smile?

In them, I see jasmine-like flecks of peace and joy.

What is this that makes conversation and confrontation with you easy?

when I speak, I have full confidence that no matter what I say, you will stay.

What is this that urges me to extend mercy and forgiveness, although I’m hurting?

It’s like embers that never seem to smolder, but at the appropriate time, ignite again and again and again….

What is this that speaks quietly to my soul, “Be still and remain”?

Walking away had become habitual, but with you, I’m not afraid to stand.

What is this?

What is this?

What is this?

This… is… Love

New.

Refreshing.

Restorative.

Love.

Drunk With Love & Pain

23 Jan

Poetry is an outlet for me. The words “flow” when I’m extremely happy and when I’m extremely sad… There’s rarely an in-between. My poetic flow takes you into my world on good days and on not so good days… It’s not for everyone… but it’s my reality…


The pain I feel tonight is intoxicating.
My head is spinning from confusion.
Conflicting emotions of Love and regret surface,
as I see your silhouette against the darkness in the room…
I automatically know it’s you,
simply because I know you.
The sharpness and distinction of your nose;
The deceptiveness of your lips when you’re not smiling…
I would swear you were harsh and churlish
if I didn’t know you so well…
Your presence throws me off kilter.
I’m thrown off my game.
I become nauseated,
feeling the need to purge.
Purge words that I’ve held for days, weeks…months…
16 months…. and 18 days to be exact.
Yes, I’ve counted them over and over again,
asking God and myself, “Why do I love him so much?
Where is my rationale?”
Hmph….that left months ago.
“I am ANDREA,” I yell to myself.
“I don’t fall for men; they fall for me.”
Myself ignores me,
and my heart and soul respond…
with a hard and strong love for you.
I’m enraptured by your presence and demeanor – STRONG & CONFIDENT.
I want to retaliate with my own strength & confidence.
I throw what I have back at you….
You don’t utter a word, but smile.
Now, I’m infuriated.
I’m unable to interpret that.
I want you to tell me that you love me.
Tell me that you’re angry with me.
Tell me that you don’t like me.
Tell me something! The suspense is driving me mad!
With tears in my eyes,
every expletive in the book in my mind,
and with this hard love in my heart,
I just stand and gaze at you, eye to eye.
I respect you to0 much to utter a word…
I love you too much to let you go…
So I stand –
confused and intoxicated by the pain that runs deep…
engulfed and rooted by my love that runs deeper.