Sundays…

Are never easy for me. As a matter of fact, most Sundays are downright difficult! It didn’t take me long after my divorce to realize why I struggled so on Sundays. When I was married, Sundays were days filled with family time, fellowship, fun, and dating…. my husband. I would cook or we would go out for dinner. We would often come home and watch a movie, or watch whatever game he was interested in watching. I would lay in his lap or on his chest in bed and fall asleep… I didn’t realize how much that time meant to me until that time was gone.

While I’ve been divorced for almost two years, I’ve found that I’ve kept the same routine on Sundays. I come home from church. I light candles, and set my atmosphere. I cook. I turn on a football or basketball game (that I rarely watch), and I eat dinner…. most times…. alone.

Last night, I had a “business” meeting with myself. 🙂 During this meeting, I asked myself, “Why do you continue this routine, knowing that its outcome only renders nostalgia and sadness?” Myself quietly responded with, “Because I long for the days when this routine no longer renders sadness or nostalgia, but the joy in having my NEW husband’s chest to lay upon.” I went back and forth with the idea of changing my Sunday routine, before falling asleep.

This morning, I awakened with the decision that I’m going to change my Sunday routine until the manifestation of my NEW comes. I will start this Sunday with dinner at a restaurant with other people. I will attempt to plan and schedule an activity outside of my home this Sunday, and more than anything else…. I will enjoy ME.

We never have all the answers, and that’s okay. I’ve learned that in life, all experiences can be used for GROWTH, if we allow them to grow us… As I walk into my NEW, I choose to lay down my OLD – habits, traditions, desires – And I embrace NEW habits, traditions, and desires, as I walk into and experience NEW Love…

A Plethora of Love,

Drea